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A
seven year old had just seen Cinderella and was testing the neighbor
lady’s knowledge of the story. The neighbor, wanting to impress the
little girl, said, “I know what happens at the end.”
“What?” said the girl.
“Cinderella and the Prince live happily ever after.”
To which the little girl answered, “Oh no they didn’t, they got
married!”
Many
things have been said about marriage. My favorite is, “Marriage is
not a word it is a sentence, a life sentence.” Sadly we tend to
think of this life sentence in terms of incarceration instead of a
life sentence of love and joy. Perhaps it would be wise to think of
marriage in light of the upcoming 15th annual Wife Carrying World
Championships. Competitors from all over the world will gather the
week of July 7th for this week long festival. The main event is a
300 yard obstacle course where a husband must carry his wife. The
track runs over sand, mud and asphalt surfaces, including two dry
obstacles and two water obstacles. There is a 15 second penalty
assessed for each time you drop your wife. The winning couple
receives a man lugging his wife trophy and wins the wife’s weight in
beer.
While
this festival may seem rather odd and humorous I think they are on
to something because I believe wife-carrying is Biblical.
Read
Ephesians 5:21 – 6:5 in its entirety. Don’t get hung up and discard
the entire portion of scripture because is starts,
“Wives be subject to your husband as
you are to the Lord.” If we
read today’s passage carefully, Paul is loading a heavier burden
onto the husband’s shoulders than onto the wife’s. Paul is
challenging and exhorting husbands to sacrificially love their
wives. Jesus is the example Paul uses for sacrificial love.
Sacrificial love means laying down ones life for another.
Sacrificial love is a form of wife-carrying.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her.
As I reflect on the many things that my father taught me about being
a good father I think one the most important is that you have to be
a good husband. Loving fathers start out as loving husbands and must
continue as loving husbands. It is only when I make loving my wife
my number one priority that I can be a loving father. This often
gets lost or pushed aside because of work, because of demanding
schedules, and because of parenthood. When you make your children
more important than your spouse you are doing a disservice to your
children. Children learn by what they see and experience.
Our sons learn how a woman should be treated by watching their
father honor their mother. Our sons learn how not to objectify
women’s bodies by watching their father’s eyes in public and
listening to how he speaks of women. Our daughters set expectations
on whom they would date and how they would be treated by remembering
how Dad treated Mom.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her.”
Instead
of telling your wife to get off your back, invite her to get on your
back. This is what it means for “Husbands, to love your wives, just
as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” When you
invite her to get on your back your relationship will be rid of
criticism, hostility, shame and resentment. When you invite her to
get on your back your relationship will be filled with patience,
encouragement, praise, love, forgiveness.
God’s design for marriage and family living is meant to be a life
sentence. It's not meant to be seen in terms of incarceration. It is
meant to be seen in terms of God’s love, a love that is patience and
kind, a love that does not envy or boast, a love that is not proud
or rude or self seeking or easily angered… a love that always
protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres.
When you invite her to get on your back you are setting an example
for your children to follow. Let us not forget the wise saying,
“Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an
impression.”
Father’s, what kind of impressions are you leaving on your children?
Are you leaving an impression of self centeredness? Are you leaving
an impression of God centeredness? Are you leaving an impression
that emulates God’s love or self love? Are you leaving an impression
that will provide a Godly foundation so that rather than just
obeying you, that is doing what they are told, they will honor you
which means that they love and trust you? In this way you are bringing
them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Amen
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