“For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

We've all been shocked by the events of the past ten days in which a school girl was killed in Colorado, a principal was killed in Wisconsin, and five Amish girls were killed-execution style-in Pennsylvania. Our shock and grief continues each time there is a report from Iraq informing us of another American soldier is killed or wounded. We find such tragic deaths unacceptable. Yet we seem to be unfazed by the attempts to put to death God’s design of marriage of one man and one woman and the staggering number of marriages that die in divorce

The fact that at present one out of every two marriages end in divorce proves that many of the one-liners made concerning marriage are true. Such as: many couples marry for better or worse, but not for good; When a man marries a woman, they become one, the trouble starts when they try to decide which one; Marriage is not a word it is a sentence, a life sentence. Unfortunately the kind of life sentence we think of it not the kind of life sentence God intended for marriage.

If anyone knew that marriage is a life sentence it was the Pharisees. So why would they have a need to ask Jesus,

“Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”

Did they honestly think that Jesus would tell them something else? Jesus said,

“For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

By asking Jesus their question they remind me of a child who asks a parent a question already knowing what the parent’s response is going to be. While the child is asking hoping that the parent has changed their mind the Pharisees are asking in order to set a trap for Jesus.

Should Jesus say, ‘It is NOT legal to divorce a wife.’ He would contradict Moses who permitted divorce on certain grounds. He would also aggravate the people in the crowd who were divorced, turning public opinion against Jesus. He would most likely anger Herod, as John the Baptist did, when he spoke out boldly against Herod for his acts of adultery and divorce. This might possibly lead to the beheading of Jesus as it did for John.

Jesus was no fool. He knew the Pharisees were not really interested in Jesus’ legal opinion on the issue of divorce. He was also aware that most Jews took for granted that a man had an inalienable right to divorce his wife. This of course was not a right given to women. Well aware that the Pharisees were setting a trap for him Jesus counter-attacks.

Jesus responded to their question with a question of His own.

“What did Moses command you?”

What Jesus does here is move the discussion away from some hypothetical debate about some unspecified husband to a command directed to them. It also exposes a fatal flaw in the Pharisees’ whole approach to the law. The flaw Jesus exposed is one that is alive and well today. It is the desire to find out what we can get away with when it comes to the law. We see this drama lived out regularly in our courts today with charges being dropped, guilty men and women walking free not because of the evidence but because of technicalities.

In other words Jesus exposed their sinful heart. They were interested in their rights rather than their responsibilities. Isn’t that exactly what is behind prenuptials? It is a selfish desire to protect what is mine in case this marriage doesn’t work. If that is one’s attitude going into marriage why get married. Such an attitude contradicts the Biblical attitude about marriage stated in Genesis and reaffirmed by Jesus,

“For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

You will find Moses’ commands on divorce in Deuteronomy 24:1-4. Moses’ law on divorce had its roots in men’s hardness of heart which depicts a willful defiance against God. The hardness of our hearts against God’s will today is evident in legislation in favor of same sex marriage; in couples choosing to live together; and in our casual attitudes concerning sexual relations.

Moses may have given laws to regulate divorce, but divorce is not God’s will for marriage. One commentary states that ‘Moses command is a compromise designed to reduce the fallout from men’s brutal abandonment of their wife. The law was intended to keep the social upheaval associated with divorce to a minimum.’ The fact that the Pharisees asked specifically about a man’s right to divorce is a clear indication that they had little, if any concern about what divorce does to the wife or the children.

Some people say, ‘You should stay together for the sake of the children.’ Ask a child who lived in a home where parents did this and you will get the opposite advice, ‘Don’t stay together just for the children.’ I encourage any couple with children to stay together, but for the sake of the children rebuild your marriage. Devote yourself, heart, soul, mind and strength to the vows you made to each other.

I find Jesus’ words of concern for the care and acceptance of children that follow this passage on marriage and divorce is no accident.

“For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

Our culture needs to recognize that divorce is a sin in God’s eyes because it originates in human hardness of heart. Is it a sin beyond the grace of God? Absolutely not! Jesus makes the statement to argue the permanence of marriage, not to accuse persons of adultery.

Jesus is addressing the attitude of the people of his time. It was an attitude that marriage was similar to buying and selling land. This may not be an attitude we have today but we certainly have people marrying for a variety of other reasons such as marrying for money, for convenience, because their clock is ticking or because they want to have a baby.

One of the great joys of serving as pastor is performing weddings. Over the past thirty years I have had the privilege of performing two hundred plus wedding ceremonies.

I would imagine that those marriages are in many different states. If I were to compare them to ships you might find some resembling a roaring battleship; some like the USS Minnow which set out for a pleasant journey and ended up barely surviving; some like a row boat definitely afloat but requiring tons of hard work to move forward.

The time is now to reaffirm and to embrace the truth of God’s Word pertaining to marriage,

“For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

If you are married recommit yourself to the vows you spoke, the promise you made on your wedding day. If you are not married recommit yourself to the vows you have made with God and with others.

Let us never forget that keeping any vow takes effort. Keeping any vow requires selflessness, choice, growth and compromise. Keeping any vow requires God’s help, His mercy, His love, His grace. Keeping any vow requires prayer. Husband and wives pray DAILY for and with each other.