Greetings,

There are many people for whom the Fall means FOOTBALL.

Diane is NOT one of them. The only time I remember her sitting down to watch a game is when the boys asked her to.  I will always remember the boys attempting to teach her the basics of football.  The real fun was trying to explain the differences between kick off, punt, field goal and extra point.  She learned the difference between a kick off and a punt by referring to them as Kick A and Kick B.  However, she didn’t think it was fair that a ball kicked from forty yards was worth the same number of points as one kicked from twenty yards.

I think I may have found a way to help people understand football by relating them to church terms.

For instance:

A Quarterback Sneak is when a church member quietly tries to leave before the service ends.

A Draw Play is what the children do with the bulletin.

A Benchwarmer is those who do not sing, pray or apparently do anything but sit.

Sudden Death is what happens to the attention span if the preacher goes on too long.

End Run is getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Blitz is the run to the coffee hour after the benediction

Staying in the Pocket is what happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord’s work.

Flex Defense is the ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

By no means have I covered all the football terms, but I would not want this greeting to go into Sudden Death.  So allow me to begin the two Minute Warning, which means it’s time to turn the page and read the rest of the Tidings, by saying YOU ARE A VALUABLE and NECESSARY MEMBER of St. Paul’s ministry team.  You choose whether you enter the stadium, sit in the stands, stand on the side lines, or go onto the playing field.

Which choice do you think will result in you scoring for the Lord and hearing Him say,

"Well done good and faithful servant."

In Christ,