Here is a collection of humorous headlines, some of which you may have seen before and some of which may be new to you:

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Red Tape Holds up New Bridges
Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures (duh!)
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder
Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while (duh again!)
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Lingerie Shipment Hijacked - Thief Gives Police The Slip
Patient At Death's Door - Doctors Pull Him Through
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar
Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing

That last headline ("Deaf mute gets a new hearing") would certainly have a different meaning in the context of the gospels.

"Then they brought to [Jesus] one who was deaf and had an impediment in his speech, and they begged Him to put His hand on him..... Immediately his ears were opened, and the impediment of his tongue was loosed, and he spoke plainly."
(Mark 7:32,35)

What a beautiful display of power and love. I can't begin to imagine what it would be like to be deaf.  What would I miss the most?  The sound of the wind blowing through the trees?  The words "I love you" spoken by a dear friend?  The chirping of the birds at the break of dawn?  Or the songs of praise lifted up to God's throne when Christians gather together?

While I can't imagine not being able to hear any of those beautiful sounds, I can say, with sadness, that I don't always listen to those things that I have the ability to hear.  I don't always listen to the cries for help that come from those in need around me.  I don't always listen to my children when they are anxious to share the events of the day.  And I don't always listen to God as He speaks to me through his word.

Sometimes I am distracted. Sometimes there is other "noise" which makes it hard to listen.  But sometimes I keep my hands firmly over my ears to avoid hearing.

With a need much like the deaf man in Mark 7, 
I come begging Jesus to "put his hand" on me,
to open my ears that I may truly hear.